Friday, February 4, 2011

Script

PROLOGUE:




• Pack your fists full of hate

take a swing at the world

these kids stick to themselves

carry angst in their words

where will never be apart

of this cursed town,

so we stand amongst ourselves

watch it burn to the ground

burn to the ground.



(Ceremony – Kersed)



INTRO



FADE-IN EXT. (FIRST PERSON CAMERA FEELING) FOGGY AND DEPRESSIVE DYSTOPIAN FANTASY CITY SHOT FROM ENORMOUS HEIGHT, TGHT-ROPE WALKER APPEARS FROM THE TOP LEFT CORNER – EVENING


TIGHT-ROPE WALKER, (age ~20 girl) quickly and easily moves on the wires between buildings and other constructions using her umbrella to elegantly keep her balance.



CAMERA STARTS FOLLOWING HER FROM THE BACK



TIGHT-ROPE WALKER, starts jumping from one edge to another, from one wire to another, using her umbrella almost like a kite to keep her longer in the air.



CAMERA STOPS FOLLOWING, LANDS IN A COMPOSED POSITION SHOWING AN OPEN AIR RESTAURANT IN ONE OF THE HOUSE’S BALCONY. IT IS HALF EMPTY WITH FEW POOR LOOKING CHARACTERS



ACTION



CAMERA CLOSES-UP TO THE TIGHT-ROPE WALKER



TIGHT-ROPE WALKER, looks tired, (it seems cold around) sits down near the bar and without a reason attracts everybody’s attention.



CAMERA LOOKS UP



A POGO STICK KID, (~6 years old boy) appears jumping from a roof to another making clouds of dust.



TIGHT-ROPE WALKER, ignores.



FEW CHARACTERS, takes a short look at him.



CAMERA STARTS FOLLOWING THE KID



A POGO STICK KID, Childishly, but unpleasantly tries to take everybody’s attention by making annoying sounds and making a mess in all over the place. He gats a bit annoyed by himself in the end. He keeps overdoing everything, jumps over the bar grabs a bottle (it seems that waiter doesn’t care too), smacks it on the table, fills a glass taken right out of the waiter’s hands and vigorously gives it to the girl.



CAMERA CONCENTRATES ON TIGHT-ROPE WALKER



TIGHT-ROPE WALKER, stands up and just leaves.



CONCLUSION


CAMERA GET'S BACK TO THE KID


WAITER, (a strong looking man) decides to teach the kid for some lesson, picks him up on a scruff. He throws the kid through the table and shouts to get out.



POGO STICK FALLS FROM BOYS HANDS AND HITS A TABLE


KID'S EYES FOCUSED

A POGO STICK KID, looks to him with furious eyes, grabs his stick and runs away.



FADE-OUT

3 comments:

  1. Domantas - maybe I'm missing something - but you don't have a story here; you have a series of events and a strong mood, but it's not a story; reconsider the elements that make a story work: I want you to look again at the 3 act structure diagram and related ideas in relation to your 3 components. Your current story certainly isn't derived from your characters; they just populate your restaurant setting like 'props'. I don't think you're yet doing the real craft of the story-teller... or asking any of the really pertinent questions. Your three story components are still separate and arbitrary in your story; they don't intersect or combine in any meaningful way... you need to think more laterally.

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  2. go bounce some new ideas around with your writing partner...

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  3. Ok, thats why I started It so early. It is much easyer to notice my mistakes like that. I can see that the story is awkward. I will make it more logical ofcourse.

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